Purpose · 1997
The Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz
A practical guide to personal freedom based on ancient Toltec wisdom.
7 min read
The big picture
Ruiz proposes that much of our suffering comes from old agreements we made with ourselves and others, about who we must be. He offers four simple new agreements that, practiced daily, can replace fear and judgment with freedom and peace.
Five key ideas
- 1
Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid gossip and never use words against yourself.
- 2
Don't take anything personally
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. Their opinions are not about you.
- 3
Don't make assumptions
Ask questions and say what you want clearly. Most drama comes from guessing and misunderstanding.
- 4
Always do your best
Your best changes from day to day. Doing your best, whatever it is, protects you from self-judgment.
- 5
Practice makes the agreements real
Habits of thought are old and strong. Expect to slip, and simply begin again without guilt.
Put it into practice
- For one day, notice every time you speak negatively about yourself and stop.
- Before reacting to criticism, ask: is this about me or about them?
- Ask one clarifying question instead of guessing someone's meaning.
Who should read it
Readers looking for a short, calming guide to everyday peace of mind.
How to apply it in daily life
Morning
Speak only words you mean, kindly, all day.
During the day
When someone is rude, remember it isn't about you.
Evening
Ask instead of assuming, and do your best without guilt.
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