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Mindset · 2016

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

by Mark Manson

A counterintuitive approach to living a good life by choosing what is worth caring about.

9 min read

The big picture

Manson argues that constantly chasing positivity makes people unhappy. A better life comes from accepting that pain and failure are normal, and from carefully choosing the few things worth caring about. His message is not indifference; it is choosing your struggles wisely.

A young man and woman leaning over a shared notebook at a warm lamplit desk, the man holding a pen with his chin resting on his hand while the woman points at the page, a calculator, mug, stacked books and a laptop around them in a plant-filled room

Five key ideas

  1. 1

    You only have limited attention

    Everyone has a limited supply of things they can care about. Spend it on values that actually matter to you.

  2. 2

    Happiness comes from solving problems

    You will always have problems. The goal is to find better problems that you enjoy working on.

  3. 3

    You are not special

    Believing you are exceptional can block growth. Accept being ordinary and work steadily on getting better.

  4. 4

    Take responsibility, not blame

    You may not control what happens, but you always control how you respond. Responsibility is power.

  5. 5

    Choose good values

    Good values are honest, within your control and constructive. Poor ones, like always being liked, leave you stuck.

A young man and woman working together at a startup office desk, the man pointing with a pen at an open laptop while the woman rests her chin on her hand over an open notebook, with a second laptop, coffee, printed charts and a whiteboard behind them reading Our Startup beside a checklist of Product, Marketing, Team, Growth and Funding

Put it into practice

  • Write down what you are struggling for and ask if it is worth the cost.
  • Pick one value, such as honesty, and act on it in one conversation this week.
  • Notice one problem you blame on others and name your part in it.

Who should read it

Readers who are tired of forced positivity and want blunt, honest perspective.

How to apply it in daily life

  1. Morning

    Decide which few things are worth caring about today.

  2. During the day

    Take responsibility for one problem instead of blaming.

  3. Evening

    Let go of one thing you can't control.

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